“It’s a bold move to critique the very institution he was applying to,” said Mr.
Bauld, who also teaches English at Horace Mann School in New York City.
“I don’t believe that any one writing sample should trump what they did over four years.” Still, he acknowledged that his staff had been taken with the story told by Lyle Li, a 19-year-old Brooklyn resident who applied this year.
He wrote about his family’s restaurant and his mother, an immigrant from China who once wanted to be a doctor and now works behind a cash register. “His essay brought his family’s circumstance and background into Technicolor,” Mr. “He paints a very vivid picture of what life is really like in his home.
“But here’s somebody who knows he can make it work with intelligence and humor.”Indeed, Mr. “It originates in a critical habit of mind, and the kind of mind that is in this essay is going to play out extremely well in any class that he’s in.”Admissions professionals often warn people not to think that they can write their way into the freshman class.
Cranberg’s essay includes asides about applicants’ gullibility and the college that sent him a DHL “priority” envelope, noting inside that he was a priority to the college. “The essay is one document that, even in the best of circumstances, is written by an individual telling one story,” said Shawn Abbott, the assistant vice president for undergraduate admissions at New York University.
The Earth is ‘my home.’ ”To Monica Inzer, Hamilton’s dean of admission and financial aid, bold declarations like this one are a strong sign of authenticity if nothing else. “But what I loved about this piece is that there is no attempt to smooth out anything.”As for Ms.
“Lots of essays have been doctored or written by other people,” she said. Kumar, the 18-year-old Princeton applicant, her essay wasn’t so much smooth as it was slick, gliding effortlessly from her breakfast table to the manicured campus of Princeton to the “occidental bubble” of her school classroom.
“My heart broke, not because I was now stuck eating plantains by myself in the stinging sun, but because that boy experienced a level of poor I never knew.”Then she makes a startling statement that stopped both me and Mr. “I have never seen the United States as my country,” Ms. “I have never felt total patriotism to any country.
I do not instantly think of staying here to help ‘my home,’ because I do not consider the United States my home. “There’s always an attempt in some of these college admissions factories to smooth out a student’s edges,” he said.