Throughout my life, I’ve always had someone by my side.
That someone has shifted between my parents, sister, best friends, and boyfriends.
Will living alone help me confront my reluctance to face new situations?
Will it let me muster the courage to live a life without clutching onto people when I don’t want to do things myself?
At some point, I hope to build a life with somebody else I can call my long-term partner.
Before I do that, though, I want to be comfortable with . Perhaps by carving out my own path, new doors will open, too.
Traveling solo for work the past two years helped with that. But I want to learn to love and be at peace with myself — when the commotion of these distractions has died down.
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I never knew how to describe how I felt in unfamiliar situations; all I knew was that I felt “awkward.” Some of the anxiety has subsided with age and practice. I despise walking into a work-related conference, knowing no one. What do I do if everyone is already talking in groups? What if people judge me for standing alone, on my own?
Weddings where I may not know anyone besides the bride/groom? I’ve hidden in a bathroom before to pass the time between my arrival and the ceremony starting, so I didn’t have to walk around by myself — or worse, strike up conversation with strangers.